NO BULLY ZONE - INTERVIEW

NO BULLY ZONE

It was my pleasure to be interviewed by Ruth Kenneth (Mom, Former Teacher, and Curriculum Developer).

An interview that takes the reader deeper into tough questions about  bullying.

Topic: How to Create a No Bully Zone

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The Child-Shooter: Why?

As we ponder the WHY behind the motives of the Florida shooter, Nikolas Cruz, we can only presuppose what prompted this young man to walk into Stoneman Douglas High School, that fateful Valentine’s day, 2018 with a made-up-mind to carry out the carnage taking the lives of 17 innocent people.

Of course, via media outlets and then countless interviews from several of Cruz’ peers and closet contacts, we know a bit about his story, and what a complex story to unravel.

As an advocate against bullying I’ve thought about the many different variables that could have prompted such an unfathomable massacre, but I realize we’ll never have a final on this one account.

While it may be extremely difficult to begin uncovering the many layers causing his horrible actions, I feel we must attempt to take a closer look. And, even though Cruz may be 19 years old, to many of us he’s still a very young kid.

Where do we begin?

Whilst, I refuse to make excuses for Cruz, as I’d never want to pose accusations against any one person, or another making them responsible for what Cruz executed on his own, we must begin to have effective dialogue and discourse about possible antecedents leading to his painful actions determining if collectively we can do all that we can to save other youngsters from feeling this is the way to carry out their pinned-up feelings, or anger.

POSSIBLE FORERUNNERS

Home Life

One of the precursors, I’d like for us to consider is Cruz’ family background, early home life experiences and family interactions.  We may never know how dysfunctional or unstable his past has been, but isn’t it worth consideration? I have to wonder about the early stages of his life, in terms of bonding with his parents and the emotional stages we must all move through successfully in order to be called ‘normal’ or balanced. How was Cruz treated? Did he feel special? Was there respect in his home in terms of roles? Was there discipline? Did he observe chaos? Was he a victim born to parents using alcohol? Did he feel abandoned?

School Life

Another area of concern is whether or not Cruz had friends at school. I’m not talking about occasional interactions, but true friends. Did he feel connected, or was he alienated? Did he play a sport, or instrument giving him an outlet that he could feel proud about? Did his teachers/administrators approach him utilizing Social Emotional Learning Skills/Techniques? Were the people he interacted with daily sympathetic to his expressive needs, and/or the loss of his mom? Did anyone reach out to him? Was Cruz bullied at school by his peers or teachers? So, if he appeared different, did anyone approach him with a smile, or lend him a hand?

Bad Guy

No. I am not attempting to make Cruz the victim here. He is clearly the ‘bad guy’ in terms of the deeds he carried out, but I just want all of us to stop and ask ourselves how we could have reached-out to this young soul – this kid.

I can’t help but believe in my heart-of-hearts that any one kid who we all know, love and hold dear to our hearts is just as capable of carrying out such a hideous crime if they feel unwanted, unloved and/or isolated.  We are all humans, and humans can feel fragile.

Mental Illness

Is it really fair to the many people suffering from mental illness to categorize them as possible ‘murderers?” I mean, I suppose if we pick up a gun and shoot someone we have truly ‘lost it’ but think on this for a spell. We are quick to say ‘mental illness’ but to become mental in this way, is just a ‘snap’ away as we are all human and prone to destruction, and acts of violence if we are in such a state or dark and lowly place in our lives.

I think it’s high time for each and everyone one of us to remain connected to the children in our lives. We must consider their needs. We must STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN to their stories, concerns, and fears. We have to become very observant, ask questions, and offer assistance as much as we can. Dig deeper in your questioning of children. Whenever you ask your children about their day, do not accepted, “Good” or “I’m okay” and/or the like. Ask your children details about their day, who they hung-out with, and what they’re up to.

Good Guy

If we expect to raise and dwell with wholesome well-balanced children, we must think on these important notes:

·         The quality of a child’s attachment depends on the responses from those who rear the child (the adult)

·         The bond of connection develops between the child and his/her caregiver (it should be positive)

·         Once the child leaves our tutelage, the educator must grab the ‘torch’ and extend Social Emotional Learning – As parents we must expect this.

·         We must make positive, meaningful connections with children

·         Loneliness and separation anxieties are both variables we as adults, must pay attention to

·         We have to foster empathy and sympathy within our children

·         We must treat children with kindness and respect. We can still do this as we discipline with love.

·         We must expect our children to use great manners, but how can they if we fail to teach them?

·         We must teach our children to share.

·         We must teach our children to volunteer their time and services to others.

·         We must refrain from spoiling our children and giving them everything they ask for. By doing so, this will avoid their sense of entitlement.

·         We must teach our children to say ‘thank you’ and to be grateful and thankful, too.

Parents – Feel free to add to this list.

Note: Please let me know what topics you'd love for me to cover.

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My Life/Family Life

Hello My Fans! 

INCOME TAXES DONE ✔

I’ve gotten my 2017 income taxes out of the way -- Whew! 

I’m so happy I won’t have to think about Uncle Sam for another 11 months, or so (smile). 

Although I look forward to getting a little ‘change’ back during this time of year, I hate having to organize and tally up all those receipts. Each year I pledge to do much better, but I find myself doing the exact same thing. Last year, I labeled 12 envelopes with the names of each month, and I found the envelopes inter-mingled with the mounds of receipts when I pulled out my huge brown file that houses my collections over the month, and guess what – Each envelope was found nice, crisp and empty. Even the very first envelope for January 2017 was empty, so I failed myself right from the start. I promise to do much better in 2018. I will!

So much for that –

KEEPING BUSY ✔

My husband and I have been busy these past few days assisting our daughter, a 10^th grade High School FFA student, who loves animals to the point of us surprisingly getting quite fond of a few.  It pleases us to see how happy she is finding her place in High School. She’s a likable kid, but no different from the usual teen who does the things that normal teens do, so my hubby and I have to ‘keep on our toes’ as we interact and support her crafts, love for animals and goals in life. These life adventures do keep us young, at least (LOL).  

I just feel it’s so very important to allow our children to find their own goals in life (to a point) just long as their goals are in-keeping with great morals, values and noting the laws of our great land. I mean, it would be easier for my kid to become an educator, like her mommy, but that just isn’t HER calling.  So, whatever the case, I must grin and bear it – Yes, put on my happy face – And, I do. In fact, most days I’m happy to love on Floppy, Chase, Domino, and the new Mama rabbit (nameless by design), and the beautiful kit rabbits that Domino and the new Mama rabbit conceived. It does make us very happy to see that our daughter is comfortable in her High School selections.

She’s growing up so fast. Back in June, 2017 she received her Driver permit, and by the end of July she’d completed the course except for a 6 month wait to practice as we documented her excursions. By December, she was ready to take the Road Test exam, but she still hadn't I mean, who gets a new vehicle before they get their actual Driver License? 

Driver Permit - June, 2018

New Jeep - February 4, 2018

Getting Finger-Printed at DPS and Paper Driver License

MY LOVE FOR TEACHING ADULTS

Another item of importance to me is my work with adult learners. Most people don’t know it, but I teach for a University as an adjunct professor. These days, however, the courses are on line – And, I love it! These adults are mainly teachers aspiring to become Administrators (Instructional Leaders) in our nation’s schools. I love my work because it’s very important to me not only as a Mom and retired educator, but I truly care about shaping the minds and hearts of future leaders who will one day become leaders in our nation’s schools. I hope to instill great ideas within the minds of these learners to include, but are not limited to:  Diversity awareness, importance of the love and art of Teacher Pedagogy, the need and consideration of Culturally Responsive Curricular, Culturally Responsive Teaching and Pedagogy. I believe we each are charged with who we place in our classrooms, and ensuring that these individuals have what it takes to massage the Social Emotional Learning techniques for our greatest assets (our children).

MY MOM AND BABY SISTER

Although I have two sisters, and one brother, I spend lots of time with my 83-year-old mother (who will turn 84 in a month), and my baby sister (8 years my junior) who has Multiple Sclerosis, Heart issues, and Gout. Can anyone say – That’s enough for one person?

Although we love to have lunch together, and indulging in a good movie, we also love just sitting and chatting with one another. Most our days, however, are filled with doctor’s appointments, but those are short, so we have time to get to the things we enjoy.

LASTLY, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST

I plan to bring your more book, materials, FREEBIES, and etc., my loyal followers. I'm extremely passionate about what I do, and I arise very early each morning getting started on my day!

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

During my last blog, I answered the question below. 

“Okay, now I’ve met with the Principal, Dr. Cherrye, and you assured me that the Principal would be all ears, but guess what? This Principal is stubborn, and chooses not to listen to me. What next?”

How are you coming along with this endeavor? I'm eager to find out, so please share and then inform me what I can do to assist further. I want to help you and your children.

Please see Two (2) FREEBIES below. Be sure to download them today!

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