Hello Fans!

A Promise is a Promise

I know that I'm to answer a very important question for you:

"How will I help my child affirm and strengthen his/her self-esteem armoring him/her with self-worth and love for self?"

Don't Worry

I'm going to answer your very important question right after the New Year. In fact, I'm going to help you with lots of questions and concerns about this annoying act called Bullying.

But for Now

Let me close out this 2017 year with a hearty Thank You for your continued support. I love assisting you and your family.

Video

Please click on the words 'Thank You Video' below to view. I'll see you in 2018!

Thank You Video

From My Home to Yours -- HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fondly,
Dr. Cherrye

'Come to Jesus Meeting'

YOU’RE ANGRY!  I KNOW

I know just how you may feel. I was the same way when my own child came home with red scratches on her body. She shared the stories of the mean, nasty words the classroom bully said to her, and it infuriated me. I said, “How dare ANYONE do this to MY CHILD!” Yes, it did spark outrage. It got personal. Like many of you, I could not sleep at night. I tossed and turned. My angst was certain. I knew I had to do something to save my child, and I knew that it could not wait. After all, I am my child’s mouth piece for peace. I am her anti-bully advocate. I am her spokesperson.  

ANTI-BULLY ADVOCATE FOR MY CHILD

My husband and I always told our child that her job was to obey the teachers, remain respectful, adhere to the rules and regulations of the school, and be truthful with her parents. As long as she remained truthful, we’d fight for her rights. It is our job – not hers.

SOLID, ORGANIZED DOCUMENTATION

I also knew full well that I could not police the school on a daily basis. I wouldn’t be in the classroom, in the hallways, at lunch, or on the playground to protect her. So, I got busy! I was on fire! I began getting my documentation in order.  In part, some of what I did can be read in my FREE parent resource guide titled: The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm.  From experience as an educator, and mom, I also knew that my approach had to be gentle, but firm. Parents – if you don’t get this part right, I’ve found the problem will persist (under cover). Yes, I needed to secure the campus Principal was on my side. I needed the Principal to have buy-in, and listen to me, so I could not approach the school with my pinned-up anger. I had to calm down. But, trust me the meeting with the Principal was going to happen.

COME TO JESUS MEETING!

I like to call it my “Come to Jesus Meeting” – LOL

Once you have ALL your ‘ducks in a row’ (your organized and solid documentation), you are now armored with the tools needed to schedule an appointment with the school Principal. Notice, I said – School Principal – That’s right! I did not want to speak to the Assistant Principal, Counselor, or anyone else at the school. I wanted to speak to the Instructional LEADER in charge. The head ‘honcho’ -  I was not in the mood to play games, or be told later on, “It’s my first-time hearing about this.” I wanted to ensure that I spoke directly to the person who could make immediate changes. I wanted the Bully to STOP.  Even though I approached the school calm, I meant business and I needed the Principal to realize my seriousness from the beginning of the meeting until the very end.

CHAIN OF COMMAND LINGO DOES WORK

I also informed the Principal that out of respect for her, I wanted to begin with her in the district’s ‘chain of command’ – Did you hear what I just said parents? I used the word ‘chain of command’ –  Ding-ding-ding! By now, I have the Principal’s attention. Although I began the meeting in a friendly, calm manner, you’d better believe I now had her undivided mind. She was on board. She was all ears.

Once I began to flip through my color-coded documentation while sharing my concerns, I also did another clever thing – I shared solutions with the Principal, but not only solutions to rid my child of the Bully (of course this was my major concern), but I offered suggestions to help the child-bully. 

We have to remember, parents – Even though we are angrier than a ‘mad hatter’ the child-bully needs help, too. This child is angry for reasons we may never realize. So, what I said to the Principal about this one child is this: “You know. This child seems to be a bit bossy. Perhaps the classroom teacher can allow this child to take a positive/productive leadership role in some way in the classroom setting. Who knows? Maybe one day she may become a great leader, or teacher in our community. She just needs to learn how to do so in a proper manner using great social skills.” 

Guess what parents? The Principal loved my idea. You see, we can turn unhappy moments to happy ones by our approach. Remember, how angry I was at the start? I wanted to march right into that school building and set things straight. My emotions were all over the place. I wanted the Bully to STOP and I wanted relief for my child. Guess what parents? I got it! The Bully did STOP!

FREE DOWNLOAD

If time permits, please take a look at my FREE parent resource guide titled: 

The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm. You’ll be glad you took the time to download it.

Click Link - The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm    

Dr. Cherrye, okay ....

Question: I've scheduled the meeting, but what can I do to help my child in the meantime? My child is scared, and does not want to go to school, but the meeting isn't until next week. My child is constantly complaining of a stomach ache to avoid school. What are your recommendations?

Answer: Don't worry -- I'll help you with that, too. Stay tuned for my next blog post on how to help your child affirm and strengthen their self-esteem armoring them with tightened self-worth and love for self.

I hope you'll enjoy much more information on my website: Click Link to Website

Surprise News: In January you'll be getting another FREE gift from me, titled:

Self-Identity Worksheet  Sharing My Goals & Positive Attributes    

Bully Upstander NOT Bully Bystander

I Already Know What Bullying is, Dr. Cherrye!

Okay, okay, I know you're tired of hearing that bullying hurts. You already know that bullying is on the rise, and you may already know the latest statistics, too. What you really want to know is how to intervene. You want resources, and tools that you can actually put into practice.  I feel you!

Bully Upstander

One of the ways you can help is to teach your children how to be Upstanders. But wait a minute! You might ask - "Are you telling me to have my child get involved in a bad situation that isn't his/her business? Don't you realize that by doing so the bully could turn his/her cruelty on my child? You can't be serious!" 

Well, yes, I am telling you to have your child do something, but not in the way you're thinking. Give me a chance to explain, please.

Before I try to convince you that one powerful way to teach children to help decrease bullying is to become an Upstander, and why this movement is so very important, perhaps I should pause a minute, and define what Upstander means.

Definition of Upstander

An Upstander intervenes by either speaking up, or moving toward a positive action to help the victim. Simply put - If a child sees another child being bullied, he/she realizes it's wrong, so he/she is driven to action. An Upstander is no longer a Bystander (one who witnesses bullying, but remains silent with no positive, workable actions). 

Why Teach Children to Become Upstanders?

First of all, it's the right thing to do.

Before you think about telling your child never to get involved, or to mind his/her own business less the bully turns on him/her, just imagine your child becoming a victim - and at a whim. 

Just imagine your child being bullied, and needing the help of an...... that's right - an Upstander. Wouldn't you love it?

Imagine having a school full of children who think on the lines of, and own the acts of becoming Upstanders. Wouldn't this look like a school with minimum to zero bullying?

Upstander Actions

Tell your child:

• Just be a friend. You don't have to be best friends, just friendly
• smile
• lend a helping hand
• answer a question
• Let the victim know that you understand, and you feel their pain
• Let the victim know that they are not alone
• It's okay to walk with the child being bullied 
• It's okay to eat at the same table with the child that's being bullied
• See how you can be the leader of an Upstander Movement at your school
• clear this with the school administrator, first
• Get your friends involved
• make this an exciting club, or movement
• Each day, see how you and your group of friends can point out a child who is lonely, upset, or sitting in the cafeteria alone
• take positive action
• ask how you can help
• take the victim to an adult to talk

Feeling: Wouldn't it be nice to have another student do this if your child was being bullied?

Tell your child:

• Gossiping/rumors can be a part of bullying acts. When this starts see how you can end it.
• Can you change the topic?
• Can you say that isn't true, or that isn't how I heard it, or saw it?
• Or, simply say, "You know that isn't true."

Feeling: Help your child understand how it would feel if an untruth was told on them

Ask your child:

• Have you noticed any new students at your school, or entering your class?
• See how you can help the child feel comfortable
• Does the new student need to catch up, and could use your notes?
• Does the new student need a pencil/pen?

Feeling: Wouldn't you appreciate and feel relieved if another student did this for your child until they felt comfortable in a new school environment?

Upstander  -- It's Everybody's Business

School officials cannot be everywhere noticing everything, so the children who are right there in the midst may see things that no one else does. It is everybody's business and responsibility!

Important Notes: There is no way that children can all be the same. They are different mentally, physically and socially. Teach children how diversity makes them uniquely special. Teach children to share their diverse talents, and learn from one another. Tell them to listen, learn, and then share. 

Parents: If you haven't already, please download my FREE resource guide titled: The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm. What I've written within this guide is what I used when my own child was bullied when she was in 4th grade. I met with the school principal calm, ready (with my documentation in hand), and I felt confident that I would make a difference as my child's anti-bully advocate, and guess what? It worked. The Principal was receptive. She met with the student, and then the student's parent. The mother of the bully felt the severity of her child's actions, and realized that I meant business about her child's bullying behaviors.

Remember, parents - We are our children's mouth pieces for peace. 

The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm - Free Download

Click Here